Chewas think they made it in life

 The Chewa Heritage Foundation is looking for Chewa CVs. NonChewas need not apply! They want to see which Chewas have skills, you know, there might be some vacancies that might need a Chewa candidate in the Tonse future.

Though they are frantically trying to walk away from the release, two journalists have authenticated the release. They can deny it all they want; it is only because of the furore.

Nyau -Gold Standard of  'Malawian Culture'

We love our Chewa brothers, the history of Malawi is in part the history of the Chewas, but someone needs to call them out on their never-ending tribal myopia and mania.

Chewas came to Malawi in the 1500s, they found this land occupied by short people who they called Akafula. They brutally murdered them in what can be argued as the first ever genocide. I say this to highlight the fact that they should know that they came here from elsewhere, just like the rest of us. The only people who were here before history, we killed them all.

Chewas by and large learned how to trade and live with others and endure modern problems such as slavery and colonialism together. From Chilembwe to Yatuta Chisiza, Malawians of all tribal calling stood up until they took down white rule.

As soon as the country won the war over colonial rule, however, Chewacentrism reared its ugly head. Kamuzu was put at the centre of Malawi and his policies were to be Chewacentric. Malawians have never had a frank discussion on how tribal thought gave us that dictator.

He moved the capital from Zomba to a dusty patch close to his tribal homeland, he filled government positions with his tribesmen. The ‘new‘ country was to be named after their kingdom and while that was only fair since they were/are the dominant group, they started pushing it.

The Shameless Release

Tumbuka, among other tribal languages, was taught in schools, they stopped it, they held book-burning sessions just like the dark ages or Mao’s Cultural Revolution.

They did not want teachers from the north, so they sent them packing and forcibly transferred them away from the Chewa heartland.

Quota System was first implemented by a heavily Chewanised administration. People had to change names to make them sound Chewa to make it in life.

They made their tribal language the national language and set up a Chichewa Board at Chancellor College, funnelled money into developing their language. Even Yao children grew up learning ‘Maliro ndi Miyambo ya a Chewa’ as if they didn’t have their own rites. You see. they justify it as trying to promote national unity, but notice how they only want others to erase their identities and adopt theirs. Strange unity, this.

Just like before, Malawians of all calling banded together to fight the Chewacentric MCP tyranny. People lost their lives and some families will never be whole again because they stuck their neck out and dared a Chewa backed Kamuzu. Malawi won.

For the record, Most Chewas voted against multiparty politics in the early 90s, they also overwhelmingly voted for MCP in the following general elections - meaning to say - they wanted Kamuzu Banda to stay on.

As a matter of fact, no matter what any other candidate says, the Chewa block always largely votes MCP nonetheless. They are a tribal cabal by definition.

When the Mutharika dynasty rose up and plunged Malawi into another sunken phase, Malawians rose up again from Timothy Mtambo, who can barely speak Chichewa, to Winiko. Malawi rose up again and won.

As soon as MCP got back in power, it seems the old thinking still exists.

Many people are comparing the latest move by the Chewa body to Mhlakho wa Ahlomwe, they are wrong. What the Lhomwe were doing was just them trying to do what the Chewas started back in the Kamuzu days. The Chewa wrote the tribalism book.

So, what do we do now? Well, Chewas will not change in our lifetimes, they are always going to feel like the rest of us are deputy Malawians, after all we speak their language, when one googles ‘Malawian culture,’ their Nyau comes up. Let them be, the solution to the folly lies in two things that you might not be thinking of: A strong UTM and 50+1!

As soon as they try to make Malawi a Chewa project, UTM should get out of the Tonse Alliance and band with another party that will starve them of the votes needed to make government in the 50+1 system. Let them be MCP/Chewa and let them face the rest of the country at the ballot.

Maybe it is a mistake to pretend that they are superior. Maybe it is time someone got an injunction against teaching Chichewa to nonChewa people. Maybe it is time we made all languages in Malawi official.

Give us dictatorship - Chewa voting patterns in 93 Referendum

You see a Chewa man can live in Nkhatabay for forty years and not even learn the local language because they feel others must bow to their culture. When someone speaks Chichewa with Yao or Lhomwe accent they also get laughed at because you see, you can never be Chewa if you are not.

Time to end the hegemony. If they want a kingdom, we can split up the country, it's not like we would mind not being in the same country with our Nyau-wearing, rat-eating neighbours. What will we lose?  

If they feel this is their country, then we can let them have it. 

The truth is, Chewa districts harbour some of the poorest Malawians, if you go to Nsundwe it's not uncommon for Nyau to raid a market and take other people's property, they also harbour some of the biggest illiterate folk and we saw how they needed a whole 21 point to enter college under quota. 

Instead of trying to band with the rest of the country to uplift the nation and make it better, they don't want to leave their 1800 thought behind. Some are very proud to be ignorant and the entitlement of some is sickening. They behave as if everyone in Lilongwe or government should pay homage to the Chewa landowners and kings. 

Politicians love them poor, ignorant. They lionize Kamuzu Banda and make them blindly vote MCP because they are promised entitlement. They believe that they need to be fed and petted like precious dogs. 

Someone had to say it.

Disclaimer: I am not a subject of Gawa Undi, in fact, fuck Gawa Undi and he can send me his CV, I am out of tissue paper.