‘Employing women can bring losses – Harvard’

Okay, the feminists are going to be pissed with this latest study from Harvard University that claims that good looking men are more likely to be successful when pitching to investors than unattractive men or women, even when delivering the same brief.

The study comes down hard on the myths of some managers who think that using pretty females can get investors salivating into investing, maybe that can work in areas such as air hostesses, but not serious business.

 The study was published in the journal called Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, it also suggests there is a glass ceiling for women in the corporate world because backers prefer presentations from men.

"Attractive males are particularly persuasive whereas physical attractiveness does not matter among female entrepreneurs,” Dr Alison Brooks from Harvard Uni was quoted by The Telegraph.

Would it be surprising that in Britain just four FTSE 100 companies have women chief executives?

This speaks a lot of the society we live in, we speak women advancement but still inside we think women are less capable and we view them based on their sexual organs first than via their real potential.

Sad month for women.

Colombian president wets pants as his VP rejects Brazil post over dog

Colombia is usually known for violence by the FARC rebels, or for coffee growing, this week the country is in the news for lighter reasons.

Colombian President Juan Manuel Santos, elected in 2010, kicked of his reelection campaign with a speech to supporters in Barranquilla this weekend. But footage of the president apparently wetting himself onstage is raising questions about the 62-year-old's health. (Gawker)

Santos, who appears to be unaware of the leak in the video, was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2012. He underwent surgery to remove a prostate tumor that same year, which his doctors said gave him a 97 percent chance of beating the disease.

One netizen spoke of how somebody he knows had prostate related surgery and has problems controlling his bladder.

As if this was not enough…

Colombian Vice-President Angelino Garzon has turned down the post of ambassador to Brazil, saying that his German Shepherd dog would not adapt to the hot weather. (BBC)

In an interview with Colombian magazine Semana, Mr Garzon said the climate of Brasilia might harm the dog's health.

Colombian Foreign Minister Maria Angela Holguin has issued an apology to Brazil, a major trading partner.

She described the incident as "very embarrassing".

I hope the tabloids in Colombia will have a good month and can’t wait to see cartoons on these stories, though am sad about the president. Can he not retire and focus of health?

Xiao Zhen's Eulogy

An unverified video clip has gone viral on liveleak.com showing a Chinese student jump to his death in the middle of a class allegedly under exam pressure.

The video which has racked up almost 250,000 views shows a normal class scene which is then thrown in chaos after a young man suddenly moves out of focus by climbing on a window sill and jumping. The reaction of the class fills in the gaps that the camera could not capture: The boy jumped to his death.

‘High school student Xiao Zhen leaps to his death from a window in the middle of class. It is believed this happened due to pressure of preparing for college entrance exams,’ reads the description of the video.

So far no one has said where in China this might be and I have not seen this story in the Chinese media, but whatever the real story is, it speaks some substance about the stress that Chinese students have to undergo.

In the restaurant I eat at, the owner has some twins of about 9…the boys are always working each time I hop in for a bite and find them there. If I don’t find them, then they are at school, if I find them, they are studying.

Almost 7 of every ten students at Shandong University and those that I know use glasses and those I asked have told me their sight got corrupted because they had to study hard.

Now, I am no fan of laziness… but the Chinese kids are in their own league.

There is just too much pressure on one child to do exceptionally well…so you have a child coming from regular school and going to a part time lesson, then later go to some piano lessons and then swimming… there is so much desire in Chinese parents to create supermen out of ordinary men that are children.

Some have lost all social life skills trying to beat the examiner at his game.

The result is gloom and more gloom, I walk in the university parks and I see students pacing about trying to memorize manuscripts, I even have seen some recording the chapters into dictaphones so they can listen to it over and over again and memorize it.

Its not only China, students from South Korea are also reportedly some of the most stressed out of the lot, the stereotype that Asians are brainy comes at a huge cost, i see.

Yes, the population is high, the competition is fierce…but did Zhen had to die?

It is because he probably thought that that test was life itself, that failing it was like committing a capital offense, maybe it is… is there alternative to doing well in school in China?

Why I will not be doing spring photography

Well, first things first, the outdoor sphere is piaoliang, the once sorry, barren and void branches of trees are suddenly oozing with new material - spring is here in China.

And with it comes the hype, it’s like the selfie craze among teens; everyone with a camera wants to take a snap of the bloom. Social media is awash with pink and bright flowers as profile picture.

Among the hype, inside the madness, there are people like me…who stand firm, people who will not be partaking in the spring malaise; I refuse to bow to the craze in the name of logic!

When the trees were losing leaves, and the driveways and pathways were clogged with ample brown foam and stacks of leaves, nobody gasped in awe, when the trees stood bare in the sun nobody noticed them, why now?

Nobody cared when the leaves go brown

Its spring, these things happen, do we need to take pictures to show that a season has changed? And to tell who? Who doesn’t see the change? Are we not just being cyclic and foolish?

So, no, am not falling for the craze. Nobody will care for these flowers when they become fruits and nobody will care if these shoots become full blown leaves.

Just to jog your guilt even more, if you go gaga after spring flowers, you are the type that likes young girls…which is creepy…

My Awkward Marathon

I met him in October, he asked after my hobbies and I listed jogging. A few weeks ago he contacted me and asked me to do a long distant run with him.

6000 meters, he said. The venue: Jinan Normal University, they have a nice concrete track there. I agreed, I mean, almost every evening I do 6000 meters, the only new thing about this was that I would run in the day.

Took an expensive taxi ride – later learned that I could get a bus and just pay 1RMB. Did all a marathoner needs to do: a litre of water and ample clothing.

The awkward started to unroll.

My friend told me how we would spend the day. We would spend ten minutes in a park, to relax, then do the marathon; then shower together; then do some spring photography and then catch dinner together.

I agreed to the plan, but felt like I was being courted – and sitting next to him in the park chair and him talking right into my face was unsettling.

After ‘relaxing,’ we hit the track, as I changed into athletics wear; my friend looked at me and remarked that I was handsome. Still don’t know what made him conclude so: my calves, thighs or belly? Because that was all that was newly exposed - queer.

Before we could start the run, a group of about 50 girls from a PE class stormed the track; we thus had to squeeze ourselves into the two outer layers of the pitch.

My friend had a timer running on his phone, updating me of progress after every minute. I usually do not open my mouth when doing a run, so just grunted in acknowledgment.

My friend, in between hard breaths, reminded me of the FIFA World Cup that took place in South Africa and he played Shakira’ s song Waka Waka that was famous around the World Cup.

Now, I have never listened to the song in full, I only hear it and cannot tell the lyrics apart from where it says; ‘It's time for Africa,’ and am not sure if that lyric punch line was the highlight.

Whenever we passed the group of girls, my friend took off like a rocket, leaving me about ten meters back and then failing to catch up later after we got out of the girls’ sight.

I quickly realized that I was in a contest and not a cordial jog, so I boosted my speed.

By 3000 meters he called a time out, I told him he could watch me and join in when he had rested, he watched me fly by twice before he rejoined and then asked me to tone down, remarking that I was an African and therefore stronger. I objected, I told him I run every day and was not born strong.

After 35 minutes, half the time he had calculated we finished the run.

Now, I come from a lake-shore area, and we can swim naked but it’s been years since I did skinny dipping, and suddenly I was in a public bath and this was upon protesting.

We just had one towel, one pair of slippers…I refused to share those and went in raw. Going on to turn down an offer of a free back scrub and being the only darker shade in the bathroom, I could notice the gazes I attracted, but like I said, I noticed, that means I also gazed.

The photography part was as challenging as running in the hot sun, having to pose behind some pink flowers took a lot from my pride pocket, but again, I never said no and endured an hour long lecture on the flora of the university, which, I have to say is very remarkable.

The selfie was the hard one, his face so close to mine and more than five photos in the same position, I felt like I was a girl being hunted.

Dinner was served early – typical Chinese food, loved it, but secretly stuck to the corn and green vegetables – and then he said it:

‘Do you have some words to say to me, before you go?’

I just looked at him and stopped chewing.

‘Did you have a good time? Will we do this again?’

Such a relief!

We had talked so much all day and I was all this time afraid of an encounter – a gay hit – instead, my friend said: ‘My girlfriend also loves those vege…’

I cut him off, I queried him: ‘you have a girlfriend?’

He said yes. I was so relieved, walked close to him this time and actually took one picture with my arm around his shoulder.

When I got on the bus, having paid just 1RMB, I looked back at my day and laughed at myself, I was so cagey, so afraid of my friend having homosexual intent, when he is but a lovely guy.

I took out my phone and typed: ‘really had a nice day, I loved it sooo much, we should do this sooner and next time I will pay for dinner.’

From Cape to Cairo, a Poem

Gaze not at me in petty askance

Hold your greasy misgivings in abeyance

Ply first the highlands of the Berbers

Toasted, knitted with the Bedouin guitar rockers

Follow Nile to meet the Acholi

Spread wings flap in the face of Sahel herdsmen

Take your time; there is no hurry in Africa

Munch my chapatti to clear the Hashish you been on

Flee not from the egwugwu, the beastly masked man is my son

Brought your liniment to oil your waist after Rhumba at Kinshasa?

All-white party in Zanzibar, and gaudy clothing in the Masai land

Enter the Savannah the land of game and no sand

From elephants to ants via small rats

Learn the Swahili and Bemba while you can,

Get ready to be haunted by the clicks of Gauteng

Sashay along the beautiful lakes

Enjoy the sight of ladies at my beaches, Africa the land of no fakes

Of course you saw my babies fight

And the women clasping babies fleeing in fright

Nail me not for the daily woes I harbour

War, schisms and all my -isms

They are but my woes, don’t just laugh, help

I am Africa – from Cape to Cairo

What’s in a Name?

I hear it most of the times, Chinese people say they from the East, actually some even refer to this part of the World as the ‘Far East,’ my question is: far from where?  When I look at my map while am in China, I see the USA to my East.

When people in Saudi Arabia or Syria come to China and you ask them where they are from and they say they are from the Middle East? My question is Middle from where? Where do we start?

Japan or Canada are developed countries and Bangladesh is not, What does it mean to be a developed country to have tall buildings?  Nursing homes? Stand Your Ground and gun ownership?

Africa is made up of Third World countries, that means we have First World countries, how did we get here?

In Afghanistan they have tribal leaders, in the USA they are senators, how do we tell the two apart?

Beautiful means tall, slim and with a degree of light skin, that means almost all Chinese girls are not pretty because they are shorter and so are most African girls since they are dark skinned.

Terrorism is when a small powerless group reacts violently otherwise it’s an invasion or just a bid to free the people.

Why the World War was called a World War? Is Serena Williams really the World Number One in Tennis?

When you ask me if I can speak Chinese, which language id that? 

I am African, who gave Africa that name? I’m I really from Africa?

Would Li Lianjie not make it in life if he kept his name and not adopt Jet Li?

Diagnosis: The West calls shots, the rest follow.

Wait… who is the West?

North Versus South Korea: War On or Soon Coming?

North and South Korea have just exchanged fire into the sea across the disputed western sea border, this according to BBC.

It is at least calming to hear that "For the moment, both sides are firing into the sea," which is weird but are the two brothers closer to war?

In what is very much like the Palestine-Israel affair, the war rhetoric has been growing recently despite North Korea saying it wanted closer ties and despite the recent family reunions whose images inspired the world.

The South, despite warnings and opposition from the North went ahead with joint drills with the USA and in response the North has been firing (or showcasing) powerful missiles by dropping them into the sea.

 Well, The South is backed by the USA and the North probably has nuclear weapons and neither really would love to see a war, would they?

And the American nose in the conflict is again too long to ignore. If we parties are not careful, we could be walking to a major war, on the 100th anniversary of the First World War.

In my opinion, if the North tries a war it will be crushed and the ruling dynasty will come to an end, however, it can cause a nuclear catastrophe before going down.

You Know you are in China When…

Pay 1RMB and ride the bus till you are tired

This is not an invitation to a joyride, you Tom Sawyer!

The guy on the traffic light moves when it turns green

And there is also a bike, whose wheels also spin when green

The ground floor of the building is the first floor

Here, your first floor is actually the second floor; the ground floor is first floor – Which actually makes sense.

Someone picks their phone and they say ‘Wei?!’

At first I was like, this Wei guy is making too many calls…and then it hit me, no hello out here.

The year starts one month after the year has started

People act normal on 1st January or Christmas, hell breaks loose 30 days later.

On some day you walk into the street and some people burn ‘money’

It’s some festival, the naïve data I have gathered says it’s a way of getting blessings by sending some money’s to the ancestors. So here it’s not ‘make it rain,’ like Lil Wayne, its ‘make it burn’

You can go grab dinner at 3am

In my country, even at a five star hotel (ha, am such an optimist, there is no five star hotel in my country) you cannot get a meal after nine. Out here, brothers sit on mini chairs in the alleyways and eat away at 2am without even being creepy.

I have fallen prey to the window; I go out at 3 to grab something from this 24-hour shop. I mean this shop with no security and women attendants, the robbers of Malawi and St. Louis and Birmingham must be salivating for a Chinese visa.

The night clubs are strange…

You walk into a night club, you have to pay for a seat…no dance floor… the club’s paid entertainers who entertain you while you just sit and watch and drink

At universities, it’s normal to find students pacing about memorizing and reciting schoolwork

It’s shocking. Think of a math test; now think of that test in Mandarin. Yeah, I kind of understand why students literary have to recite their work.

Cars drive on the right

Back home cars file on the left and the steering wheel in a car is on the right, here…it’s the exact opposite, imagine the idiosyncrasy.

Silent motorcycles everywhere

I read somewhere that there are 121 million electric bikes in China, that is 10 bikes for everyone in my country and that is without counting the traditional bicycles. Its strange how there are no accidents here with silent bikes whizzing on pavements.

You can walk into the supermarket and get a live and edible frog, scorpion or turtle

In West Africa you can buy a bat in the market in my country you can buy some mice for dinner, nothing to freak about,

There is a minimum fare for a taxi

8 RMB for you lazy karangas who want to get a taxi involved in all travels.

You can wear a hoodie and a mask and enter a shop at 2am and still get a smile from the attendant

Don’t try that in Florida

The sound ‘Nigga’ is not offensive

Sounds like Nigger, but it is ‘Nerge’ it’s Mandarin for ‘that’ and is also used as filler in oral speech. So you would hear someone say to you: ‘You are nigga nigga…ah, how to say…ah, you are new in Jinan?’

Your fish gets killed after you buy it

You want a fish, you point one from the tank, they kill it while you watch, smash is skull and remove scales and hand it to you, calmly.

Banks open on a Sunday and Saturday

So do some schools and many offices, Sunday and Saturday are not a Chinese thingy.

No free water in a restaurant

You want it, you buy it, but you can get free soup. You have water from taps but people don’t drink it.

You want water? Here is some hot water, its good for your stomach

I have a fetish for cold drinks, unless they are tea and coffee, everything must come in chilled. Not here, water is generally served warm, in winter or summer, some corridors actually have water heaters on standby. 

When you are out of credit, your phone number cannot be used or reached

Not even SMS

Your internet speed’s up and gets cheaper

I pay 40 RMB for a month of unlimited internet, first month I couldn’t believe it and downloaded over 300 GB of stuff before slowing down.

Good luck finding a church...

It’s not the Vatican; I only know one church in my city, after all 40+ % of the Chinese are atheists.

Cornflakes? Mei you!

Well, the little things we dig in the west are hard to come by. Cornflakes, Vaseline, Afro combs, folks or even black tea.

Baby pants come split at the crotch

To make it easy for babies to poop and pee…funny how I have not seen a diaper here and I have seen many babies.

Wanna spit? Fear no one

Yes, you can’t get past a street without meeting over ten people that spit or seeing sputum on the pavement, it’s a free country.

You want some tea? Here, green and without sugar

Tea is big in China, only it’s green, herbal and comes with no sugar or milk…much to the chagrin of yours truly.

Am 30 and am still living with my parents

‘And I will move out the day I marry,’ a girl would say. Or better still; a son would live with a parent until they buy him a house, what a lucky people!

Do you know Jet Lee? ….No

Apparently the Chinese stars have to change their names when starring for the international screens so its Li Lianjie not Jet Li, Lǐ Xiǎolóng not Bruce Lee and Chéng Lóng not Jackie Chan…I mean would Lǐ Xiǎolóng have been a hit outside China if he kept his real name?

The beds are hard

Ancient China people did literally sleep on nothing but wooden beds, the rich even had jade pillows, apparently it was good luck and good for your spines. So the hard we have today is very soft.

Toilets are sunken

Last used one of those before 1997, they are still in commission here; in places I have been to…squat to poop.

You can buy beer from anywhere

In Uganda or Malawi, beer is restricted to bottle stores and yet we have almost epidemic levels of boozing, here in the middle kingdom, you can get beer off and hawker or restaurant and what more, the glass bottle is non-returnable!

*As you will notice, this is based on my country and the part of China i have seen, its not exhaustive 

23,000 Perish in Mediterranean Sea

More than 23,000 desperate asylum seekers fleeing to Europe from war torn countries mostly Africans have drowned in the Mediterranean since the turn of the century, The UK’s Express reported.

‘The shocking figures have led the international humanitarian charity Human Rights Watch to call on the EU to reform its immigration policies, and focus more on saving lives than barring entry,’ reported the paper.

The paper goes on to cite reports, etc but my issue is in what the paper did not report: Africa.

Fine there are wars, poverty and diseases…but if everyone flees who will fix it? Who will make the war go away? And who will erect structures to make the diseases get contained and the poverty history?

If the able bodied flee, what about those who cannot flee? And is this conceding defeat that Africa has failed as a continent?  Why is the EU the destination when there is the AU? Why flee from Sudan to Europe and not say Ethiopia?

I think it’s time the EU and other destinations for refugees and migrants shut down and seal the gates so that if the Africans fight or mess up their diapers, they should stay in their stinky dank diapers until they drie out.

The wars will never stop by running and Africa will never develop if its able minds get sucked into Europe, this is exactly what happened with slavery only now the migration is voluntary.

Some of the people fleeing to Europe have done some sick things in Africa and it would be in Europe’s disadvantage to absorb criminals, so it is time to get tough.

Yes, we all know that Africa is largely or partly poor because of Europe, but after independence, the African was supposed to get a grip and make his land one that was livable.

Instead the African is busy hating his neighbor for reasons no one can understand anymore: different languages; different areas of origin; water; cattle grazing land and other funny reasons.

The 23,000 that have gone down should be the last, the rest should not leave Africa and should make their own heaven or die trying.

There is no honor in living in a foreign land, I read about a Ghanaian guy that has to stand in the pool in Dubai all day serving drinks to tourists, how does one even go home and play man with such humiliation?

Africa is a land of potential, still untapped and very ready to be and nobody should go a foreign office and claim they have no home.